Have
you ever dropped your cell phone in the toilet, only to hear that horrifying
splash. Stunned, you grab it out of the water in a total panic that is similar
to Nomophobia, or “No Mobile Phone Phobia.” If you have you’re part of a large
statistic with 1
in 5 people having dropped it in the course of their cell phone owning
history.
I
have, and in some miraculous stroke of fate my phone survived. Once it dropped,
I quickly grabbed it out, in utter disbelief. I was at Wisdom 2.0 in San Francisco, away from
home, away from my 16 year old daughter. And, I was at a convention where I
needed to be able to communicate with my convention buddy. Who was saving which
seat? Where were we sitting? At what time were we meeting at Starbucks for
coffee?I turned the phone off, blew it dry on low heat, and prayed for the
best. When I turned it back on, I could text, but I couldn’t call, and the
camera light wouldn’t turn off. At the end of the evening, I plugged it in to
charge and hoped for the best. To my disbelief, it turned on the next morning,
and it worked perfectly. I didn’t have to go to Verizon in San Francisco, use a
coveted upgrade, and reprogram my phone. Phew.
Fast
forward a month later during my digital diet, and on a Friday night I broke my
commitment to leave my phone in the kitchen, and put it by my bed. When I woke
up at 5:30 am Saturday morning, I saw the familiar blue Facebook notifications,
and impulsively looked at my phone, even though I’d promised myself I wouldn’t.
On
the screen were the first words of the text from my 21-year-old daughter posted
at 4:48 am, 1:48 her time in California:
“hi
mom i’m so sorry by my
phone
feel into the toilet and it
won’t
work, it is still on but
the
screen won’t work at all so I
backed
it up and turned it off
completely.
…but
before you react, just
remember
that you have done
this
a couple of times and it’s
vital
for me to have a phone.”
How
could I react (and this is where the mindfulness piece comes in) after I’d dropped my own phone only a month earlier. The cost of a replacement; the internal reaction to her reactivity for stress is contagious, and my empathy for her frustration flew through my brain, but I took several deep breaths. I knew I had
an upgrade she could use, and I completely understood her need for a phone. She
did experience the panic and anxiety of nomophobia, but we realized Facebook
has a very valuable purpose besides it’s general social media role. We were
able to communicate via Facebook message, though she was worried that she didn’t
have an alarm clock to make it to her appointment at the Apple store; she didn’t
have her GPS available, and she had no way to communicate with me besides FB
messaging on her computer. Add on top of that it is spring vacation, and all of
her roommates are out of town. She was virtually alone without a phone, but not
for long.
One
of the perks of this late night was the manner in which our conversation moved
from talk about the phone to talk about her life. What I realized is we have
deeper “conversations” via text/written message than phone ones. The interesting
this is that I find the same to be true with my younger 16 year old. I began to think about the preference
for text over phone call, and the research supports it. 63% of teens text every
day as opposed to 39% who call on their cell phone. In
a recent article, “Texting on mobile phones has dethroned actual voice call
when it comes to connecting.” I’m curious to see how we communicate with teens
in the future, or if this is a phenomena specific to my relationship with my
daughters.
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